"Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." |
I feel like we spend our lives trying to find out who we are. This isn't a new concept, I know. But, I didn't realize how central this quest was for me until this month settle down inside of me. I have found myself feeling waves of frustration with my journey and the different forms that it has taken lately. To best understand why this has hit me so hard I think it's important to know the contrast between my life 6 months ago and today. Back in July of last year I was serving at a church in Covington in multiple capacities - worship leader, youth leader, staff member, secretary. I was singing about Jesus constantly between church and touring with Redemption Family. I was spread between visiting with friends and serving my church as much as I could handle. This was my life, the ever-present spinning between all the various components that my 26 year old self had taken on. . . . My life today is quite a different story. |
As I mentioned in the last blog, I have started attending a church in Baton Rouge. There is a deep knowing in my heart that God lead me there for this specific time and place in my life. Though, I don't think I quite understand the whole story yet. You see, I have just left a season of my life where constant and ever-present spinning was my normal. Now, there is a new frustration that has risen up in my chest and it is honestly very hard to combat at times . . . I'm afraid I'm not DOING enough.
Now, here's where I come back to this notion that we spend our lives trying to find out who we are. The fact is, I thought I had already figured that out. I had "found" myself in my position in a church, in the countless hours spent serving and listening and singing and DOING. Now, I'm in this spot in my journey where the only thing I feel like I have to offer God is the miles on my car. There have been plenty of days where the miles that stretch between me and the new community I've come to know and love seems endless. The gap seems so insurmountable. Simply going to church and attending Life Group takes more energy and effort than I could have anticipated. |
I realize now how precious all that spinning was that I use to do. All of my value and worth seems to have been rooted in the idea that I DID so much for God. I called myself a good Christian because I served my church and worked in every capacity I could to be available for God to use me. Is it any wonder now that I feel like my offering is too small? What I have to give now is the hours between here and there, the miles that rack up on my odometer. I'm not the head of a ministry, i'm not instrumental in the running of a church. . . but does that make me any less of a Christian? Does that make me any less of a faithful servant of Christ? I use to think so.
God very gently whispered into my ear last Wednesday through the prayers of a new friend of mine. God told me that I "didn't understand". . . I didn't understand the worth of my offering. My precious friend had no idea of the shame I felt over the fact that I had nothing more to offer God but the drive to life group or to church or to bible study. But, It was the quite reassurance of God that made me realize that what I DO for God has very little to do with the value that God sees in me. When my Heavenly Father sees me He only sees the precious sacrifice and offering of His Son, Jesus. And that's enough. As long as I seek His kingdom first, my simple offering will always be enough! My time, my energy, my miles. Enough. I encourage you in this: never believe the lie that your value is wrapped up in the things you can DO for God or for a church. Your value and worth is firmly rooted in the person of Jesus Christ and His love and sacrifice for you. THAT IS ENOUGH! Your love for Him will flow out in works and actions done for Him, but it is not the measuring stick that God uses. He only sees His Son. Rejoice in that! |
So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:31-34
2 Comments
Dena Grosart
3/12/2016 01:05:25 pm
If I, with my poor vision, can see so clearly your beautiful soul...and I do... Imagine what our God must see with His perspective?! You are so, so lovely, Nina. Thank you again for being an inspiration and a sister in Christ.
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About the Author:
Nina Schultz is a 34 year old redhead from South Louisiana now living in Dallas, Texas. Her passion for people, creativity, and her faith has sparked many of the adventures she has found herself on. Whether it is through photography, art, music, or writing- she is always ready to capture the profoundly beautiful moments of life- common or extraordinary.
Nina Schultz is a 34 year old redhead from South Louisiana now living in Dallas, Texas. Her passion for people, creativity, and her faith has sparked many of the adventures she has found herself on. Whether it is through photography, art, music, or writing- she is always ready to capture the profoundly beautiful moments of life- common or extraordinary.
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