“I don't think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.” |
These past few weeks have been more joyful than I could ever put into words; It's just hard for me to pinpoint why, now- of all times in my life- have I been filled to the brim with genuine excitement? This is week #3 of having a shaved head. I won't lie and say it hasn't come with some challenges. For example, the first time a stranger asked if I had cancer it took my breath away. For a moment, the comment derailed what had been an amazing weekend with my family. Up until that point, I had almost forgotten that I had alopecia; but this stranger's comment reminded me that I looked different... had I really changed? After a few moments and a few tears, I picked my head up and kept moving forward. I had changed, I was different. But, I liked it. . . I liked my bald head and the perspective it brought to my life. |
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"It Will Grow Back"
My red hair has always been my security blanket.
Growing up and constantly hearing "I just LOVE your hair" from complete strangers was always a confidence boost. To be completely honest, for a long time, my hair was the one thing that I put a lot of my hope in. When I was having a bad day or was struggling with insecurity, I would always point to the fact that I had been entrusted by beautiful ginger hair. It felt a lot like God's grace: I didn't do anything to grow my hair, it was just given to me like a present. I was so thankful I had been bestowed with the legacy of my mom and grandmother's red hair.
Growing up and constantly hearing "I just LOVE your hair" from complete strangers was always a confidence boost. To be completely honest, for a long time, my hair was the one thing that I put a lot of my hope in. When I was having a bad day or was struggling with insecurity, I would always point to the fact that I had been entrusted by beautiful ginger hair. It felt a lot like God's grace: I didn't do anything to grow my hair, it was just given to me like a present. I was so thankful I had been bestowed with the legacy of my mom and grandmother's red hair.
If hair could become an idol to anyone, it had become one to me.
Consequently, the first few weeks of living with Alopecia was devastating. Whatever "glory" my hair possessed was slowly taken away by this crazy inconsistent disease. The thing that I had put so much emphasis on and hope in was disappearing before my eyes. And, along with it, I was feeling many of my dreams slipping away, too. My expectation of being a long-haired bride or that I would catch my future husband's eye with my ginger locks… all of it was falling away, with the gobs and gobs of hair I was losing daily.
So, shaving my head was not a decision that came easily at all. I wrestled back and forth for days with the fear and doubt I had about what shaving my head would mean I was losing. Even the morning of the shaving, I was anxious about the decision I had made. But God very gently showed me that the ONLY thing I would be losing that night was my hair. I was not losing my dignity, my dreams, my faith in Him. I would get my hair cut and I would live to talk about it. So, surrounded by my friends and family, I went through with it. |
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About the Author:
Nina Schultz is a 34 year old redhead from South Louisiana now living in Dallas, Texas. Her passion for people, creativity, and her faith has sparked many of the adventures she has found herself on. Whether it is through photography, art, music, or writing- she is always ready to capture the profoundly beautiful moments of life- common or extraordinary.
Nina Schultz is a 34 year old redhead from South Louisiana now living in Dallas, Texas. Her passion for people, creativity, and her faith has sparked many of the adventures she has found herself on. Whether it is through photography, art, music, or writing- she is always ready to capture the profoundly beautiful moments of life- common or extraordinary.
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